


How to Irritate Your Kidnappers: A Guide by Jordan Mathewson

by dontletyourheartdistractyou



Category: The Creatures (Youtube RPF)
Genre: Alternative Universe - GTA, M/M, Minor Violence, Multilingual Character, This is literally just Jordan being a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 12:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5708095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontletyourheartdistractyou/pseuds/dontletyourheartdistractyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm going to kill all of you," Seamus said, matter-of-factly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Irritate Your Kidnappers: A Guide by Jordan Mathewson

**Author's Note:**

> This is terrible, and is honestly just crack.
> 
> Scottish is in _italics_ , Irish is in **bold** and all the other languages are just mentioned.

"I'm going to kill all of you," Seamus said, matter-of-factly.

The kidnappers didn't appreciate that one, as shown by the way one of their fists connected straight with the blonde's cheek. His partner hissed, but the heavy feeling on Seamus weighing on Jordan's side kept him still, glaring at their captors.

A hand is placed firmly on the most burly of the mens chest, one of the weaker, but clearly more powerful and of a higher standing, sending him a glare that stated: stand back and shut up.

"We'll let you go, if you just tell us the information we need," the short one stressed, placing emphasis on the last few words.

" _We're not telling you anything,_ " Jordan's words were soft, but they caused Seamus to blink. The ease the other had slipped into his native tongue had shocked him, and it took him a couple of seconds to register the words and translate them in his head. After all, Seamus was not an expert in Scottish; his only experience with it came from the man he was, at that moment, draped over.

One of the other captors, medium-sized with dark eyes, sent the others in his group an exasperated glance. "You didn't tell me he didn't speak English."

" **Actually, I can** ," Jordan interjected, as he shrugged his shoulders the best could with a heavy weight. " **I'm just choosing not to. It makes all of you look like idiots.** " His tone was happy and carefree, chirpy and cheerful, and it had confused the crew in front of him.

The words weren't as hard to understand this time, as they were, luckily, in Seamus' second language, but the kidnappers were not versed in anything but English, and they looked on at the brunette with disdain.

"That was a different language, wasn't it?" The meek one, that had previously not talked, pointed out.

The puzzled expression on their faces was so amusing that Seamus had to actually bite his lips to keep the giggles in.

"Can't you translate him for us?" Wow, it sounded like they were pleading.

"Unfortunately, not," Seamus controlled his expression, keeping it serious, his tone steady as he fixed a stony gaze on the nearest man. "This guy's been with us for about a year, but no one really knows what he's talking about."

That was a lie of course. Jordan had been with them for five years. Actually, a better way to put it was that the earliest member, Dan, had been with him for five years. After all, Jordan was their leader. And everyone knew what Jordan was talking about, seeing as he could never shut up.

Not like they had realised Jordan was in fact Kootra yet. The red cap must hide a lot more than Seamus thought.

The worried and clearly nervous men were broken from their silence by the sudden squeak from the man who had been the one to befuddle them.

The next words Jordan sang were a mess of Russian that Seamus could only recognise, not understand, although he could catch the aggressiveness of one word that lead him to believe he was only copying something Aleks had taught him.

A bubble of laughter at the tenseness of the situation paired with the overly happy voice coming from Jordan rose in his chest, only to be forced down by an elbow digging into his chest. He winced, but his expression transformed to one of steel.

"Well, if your 'friend' can't tell us anything, then I guess you are going to have to-"

It wasn't Russian this time, but Spanish, that burst through the words.

This, Seamus could gather, was just random numbers, that Jordan had costructed together so it would sound like actual sentences.

The man's face was turning so red it looked almost purple in the dim lighting. Clearly, this wasn't funny to any of them.

It was to Seamus.

"Would you shut the fuck up!" One of them exploded, throwing his hands in the air, clearly not taking any of Jordan's shit.

The smirk that came over the brunette's face was smug, and he rolled each word on his tongue, batting his eyes innocently at the man.

Whatever the words may mean, Seamus was surprised by the sudden inclusion of Japanese, but he had no time to think for the man was probably going to swing.

Until the wall broke behind him.

-

Safe in their home, Seamus plopped down on the couch, relaxing into the warmth, ice placed against his bruised cheek.

Jordan sat opposite him, sipping at a hot chocolate.

"By the way, when did you earn Japanese?" Seamus started to ask, but stopped himself, sighing. "Let me guess. One of Kevin's animes?"

"Pretty sure it was a hentai, actually," Jordan said, nonchalant.

With that, Seamus choked.


End file.
